Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
Forget the health food. I
Blessed are those who hunger
Life is an endless struggle
full of frustrations and
You're getting old when you
get the same
Perhaps you know why women
over fifty don't have babies;
One of life's mysteries is
how a two pound box of
God put me on earth to accomplish
a certain number of things.
It's frustrating when you
know all the answers,
If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
Stress reducer; Put a bag
on your head.
I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
The real art of conversation
is not only to
Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
The nice part of living in
a small town is that when
The older you get, the tougher
it is to lose weight,
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
Just when I was getting used
Sometimes I think I understand
If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.
You don't stop laughing because
you grow old;
I don't mind the rat race,
but I could
I had to give up jogging
for my health.
Amazing! You just hang something
in your closet
It is bad to suppress laughter;
Age is important only if you're cheese.
The only time a woman wishes
she were a
Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
Inside some of us is a thin
person struggling to get out,
Can it be a mistake that
"STRESSED" is "
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
Despite the high cost of
Nothing is foolproof to a
sufficiently talented fool.
Author Unknown ~ User Submitted