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  • You ask for high fiber candy only.
  • When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
  • You get winded from knocking on the door.
  • You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
  • When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
  • You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
  • People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
  • You're the only Dragon Ball Z character in the neighborhood with a walker.
  • You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
  • You ask to use the washroom every two houses.
  • You lose your teeth bobbing for apples at Halloween parties.

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