The following are
actual medical records taken from patients' charts around North
"The baby was delivered, the
cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed
and cried immediately. "
"Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus
"Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
"She stated that she had been constipated
for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce. "
"The patient was in his usual state of good
health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. "
"I saw your patient today, who is still under
our car for physical therapy. "
"The patient lives at home with his mother,
father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care
three times a week. "
"Bleeding started in the rectal area and
continued all the way to Los Angeles."
"She is numb from her toes down. "
"While in the emergency room, she was examined,
X-rated and sent home. "
"The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
"The patient was to have a bowel resection.
However he took a job as a stockbroker instead. "
"Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
"Examination reveals a well-developed male
lying in bed with his family in no distress. "
"Patient was alert and unresponsive. "
"When she fainted, her eyes rolled around
"By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart
had stopped. and he was feeling better"
"Patient has chest pain if she lies on her
left side for over a year."
"On the second day the knee was better and
on the third day it had completely disappeared."
"Patient was released to outpatient department
"Discharge status: Alive but without permission"
"The patient refused an autopsy"