Here are some pretty lame Christmas jokes that are sure to make you lose some friends (or family members) during the holidays:

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claus!

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer 'Olive'?
Olive? Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names..."

There once was a czar in Russia whose name was Rudolph the Great. He was standing in his house one day with his wife. He looked out the window and saw something happening. He says to his wife,"Look honey. Its raining." She, being the obstinate type, responded,"I don't think so, dear. I think it's snowing." But Rudolph knew better. So he says to his wife,"Let's step outside and we'll find out." Lo and behold, they step outside and discover it was in fact rain.
And Rudolph turns to his wife and replies," I knew it was raining. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

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