to Tell If You Are a Redneck
- The Halloween pumpkin on your
porch has more teeth than your spouse.
- You let your twelve-year-old daughter
smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
- You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.
- You think a woman who is "out
of your league" bowls on a different night.
- Jack Daniel's makes your list
of "most admired people."
- You wonder how service stations
keep their restrooms so clean.
- Anyone in your family ever died
right after saying, "Hey watch this."
- You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia
- Your wife's hairdo was once ruined
by a ceiling fan.
- Your junior prom had a daycare.
- You think the last words of the
Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
- You lit a match in the bathroom
and your house exploded right off its wheels.
- Your front porch collapses and
kills more than five dogs.
- The bluebook value of your truck
goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
- You have to go outside to get
something from the fridge.
- One of your kids was born on a
- You need one more hole punched
in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
- You can't get married to your
sweetheart because there's a law against it.
- You think loading a dishwasher
means getting your wife drunk.
- Your toilet paper has page numbers
HERE TO SEND THIS GREETING223
Anonymous ~ User Submitted