The Drinker's Alphabet A is for alcohol - our drug of choice. B is for beer, yes beer, it's what's for dinner (sometimes lunch and breakfast too). C is for can - 6 pack. 12 pack, 24 pack, 30 pack, 40 oz.... so many choices! D is for drinking - that's what we like to do. E is for emergency (Definition: an emergency is when you're all out of alcohol). F is for friends (beats drinking alone and maybe you can get them to pick up the tab). G is for games, preferably anything involving cards, quarters, and chugging beers. H is for hang over - every good time has it's price. I is for ice, "I'll take that on the rocks please". J is for jail which is where you might end up after trying to use a fake ID, try driving a car when you can't even see, or are found on the street staggering home at 4 am. K is for keg! L is for liquor - many many to choose from. M is for money you no longer have due to extensive partying. N is for NOT AGAIN! (What you scream when you wake up besides someone you don't know). O is for opinion (ever met a drunk without one?) also it's for a common phrase "OH SH*T!" which you scream as you fall down the stairs. P is for pee (what you have to do about every 5-10 minutes while drinking). Q is for quarters - a great drinking game, it's also for the quilt that you puked on last night and have to clean in the morning. R is for reform, which you promise god that you'll do as you find yourself hugging the toilet bowl. S is for sex - after a few drinks people start looking a lot better than they really are, so be careful.. T is for twenty-four, 24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day... coincidence?? I think not. U is for underage (A good percentage of the drinking population). V is for vodka - the mother of all alcohol and the best way to make Jello.
W is for worm, the par of tequila that reminds you of the porcelain god. X is for x-ray, in detox it's how they see into your stomach before they pump it. Y is for you, the one who drinks way too much. Z is for Zima - something different.
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