APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current
medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________
2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______
G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK____________________________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS _________________ CITY/STATE ___________ ZIP
_________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________________________
If No., EXPLAIN ___________________________________________________
7. Number of years your parents have been married ____________________________
8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______
A waterbed? _______ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring?
A tattoo_________________
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave
premises ) 9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?____________________
_______________________________________________________________________
10. In 50 words or lest, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER"
mean to you? _________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
_____________________________________________________________________
12. Church you attend _____________ How often do you attend
__________________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother
and priest/rabbi/minister? __________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL
answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)
a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded
is ________
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is
my ________________
c) A woman's place is in the ________________________________________
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _____________
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her
______________
( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises
keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? __________________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT
TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS,
AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
________________________________________
Signature ( That means your name, moron)
Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years
for processing. You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause you
injury.) if your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen
wearing white ties and carrying violin cases. (You might want to watch your
back)
CLICK
HERE TO SEND THIS GREETING
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